Emotions During Divorce – 3 Truths That No One Tells You About

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Are you feeling afraid, anxious or frustrated and blaming your ex?  I mean really, if it wasn’t for your divorce you wouldn’t be waking up so miserable every day, right?

Wrong.  Your divorce is not the cause of your emotions and your ex-husband never had the power to hurt your feelings.  You, my friend, are the one responsible for how you feel.


Truth #1:  Emotions Are An Inside Job

At a very early age, we are taught that other people can hurt our feelings.  We learn to believe that someone can do or say something that causes us to feel a certain way.  We just believe this to be true without ever questioning it.  We don’t even realize how disempowering this is.

When someone says or does something to us, we get to decide what we want to make it mean.  What they say holds no meaning at all, until we have a thought about it.  That thought, from our own brain, will determine what emotion we will feel.  Every time.


Truth #2: We Are Supposed To Have Negative Emotions

Negative emotion makes positive emotions possible.  Without the contrast of negative emotion, positive emotion would not exist.

Our experience as humans will always include 50% negative emotion.  This is totally normal.  Negative emotions let us know what we don’t want so we can then more easily determine what we do want.  But, we need to understand that negative emotions may feel uncomfortable but they are harmless.

When we feel the discomfort that can accompany negative emotions, we tend to push away and resist these feelings.  We make them worse and create our own suffering when we avoid them. But, suffering is always optional.

Sitting and allowing a negative emotion to be there, without acting on it, will allow us to grow and thrive.  Negative emotions will always pass with time if we allow it.


Truth #3: Emotions Fuel Our Behavior

Once we understand that emotions drive every action we take and that our thoughts cause our emotions, we need to start thinking on purpose.

Think about the fuel for our cars.  When we put in premium gas in our car, it runs well.  When we get bad gas, the car sputters and shuts down.  Bad fuel leaves us stuck.

Same with our lives.  When we choose thoughts that create feelings of anxiety, regret or even fear, we shut down.  We end up stuck and making no forward progress.

Thoughts that create excitement or determination or confidence propel us forward into taking action.  These feelings are what fuel our growth and transformation.


The Power of Emotions

As you navigate your divorce journey, stop to think about what you are thinking about.  This small step will make a huge difference in how you feel as you go through divorce.

As soon as you are willing to embrace and really accept that negative emotions come from your thoughts, you will start to find ways to shift your thinking on purpose.

Seeing all the events in your life as neutral, until you have a thought about them, becomes one of the most empowering gifts you can give yourself.


Schedule a coaching call today

If you want some help processing your emotions or just want to find a way to feel better, schedule a FREE coaching session with me today.  We will have 60 mins of time devoted specifically to helping you find some relief.  Don’t wait.  I have openings today.

schedule here –>  https://karenneedham.as.me/



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